California On My Mind

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Five months ago today Robert and I rolled into Denver, packed like sardines with our friend Chris in the front bench seat of a U-Haul. We marveled at the clean air, the big sky, the openness of Colorado. We drank cheap Moscow Mules at a cute bar in the “old town” part of  Arvada. We were excited for our new adventure in a new place.

People often ask me why we moved to Colorado. Sometimes I say, “Well, I’ve got a travel bug, and right now we can’t really travel–so moving to a new state is the next best thing. It scratches the itch for something new.”

I want to eat those words sometimes. Mainly because they make me sound more adventurous than I am. And because I’ve been homesick lately.

It didn’t help that I went to L.A. last weekend for my sister’s baby shower, and the weather was perfect California, and I got to drive around in a bright red Fiat with the sunroof open (#freeupgrade), and my only responsibilities were back-to-back events/dates/moments with people I love.

I’m not going to lie: it made it hard to come back. It made my life here in Colorado feel a bit empty, and it made me feel overwhelmed at the thought of building friendships here that could one day match up to the friendships we have at home. Sometimes I wonder, why did we do this? Why did we essentially throw away the friendships and community we’d been investing in for years? And yet, we were so restless in L.A. We needed a change, and it’s been rejuvenating to have one. It’s been amazing to be near some of my family out here. We’ve loved going to a new church, one completely different from our (albeit wonderful) church at home, and experiencing new ways of worshiping in community. We’ve loved the mountains and the trees and the clean air, and the beautiful fall weather.

But could we put down roots here? Could we plant here, and somehow raise up a community and friendships like we once had? Of course in some ways I’m looking at our life in L.A. with rose-colored glasses. When we were there I often bemoaned our lack of community, and the flaky-busy L.A. culture.

Is it a case of the-grass-is-always-greener? Or a case of honestly wrestling with where we want to put down roots for our family? How does one decide such things?

P.S. I have a feeling experiencing “real winter” this year will help our decision. 😉

What about you? Have you ever “replanted” somewhere? What was it like? How do you decide where to put down roots?


2 thoughts on “California On My Mind

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  1. 🙂 Glad to hear how you guys are! I just was wondering the other day.. Its always a toss up isn’t it? Clean air, adventure, starting over or the nice cozy chair that you have always known.. 🙂 so far in my experience leaving is awesome.. but when you start a family.. being home with close family and friends has been awesome! A season for everything.. the question is.. What season are you in?:) if your here for christmas.. Urth date.


  2. So true, Alex Rae! I feel like I’ve definitely done more than my fair share of leaving in the past decade. Robert and I also want to be around family and close friends when/if we have children but that means L.A., and neither of us are in love with L.A. right now! And yes, we would love to see you and Joe and Happy (and your parents, for that matter) this Christmas when we are home!


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