Romance, For Real

Our dating days–romantic day in San Luis Opisbo

Before I got married, when I was in my 6 year stretch of singleness, I began to suspect that romance was overrated. Even with my single girl fantasies of being swept off my feet, I knew that what I really wanted one day in a husband were two things: good character, so he wouldn’t leave when things get tough, and a good friend who I have fun with in the day to day.

That said, my husband Robert did sweep me off my feet, and our dating days had plenty of romance and schmoopiness and seriously, a LOT of picnics. But now that we’re married, and often in sweats and glasses and just making dinner or reading books or watching Downton Abbey, I can say that I was right. There’s no way to sustain high-octane romance throughout our daily lives, and if there was, I wouldn’t really want to! It’s like how C.S. Lewis points out that the human body just can’t even sustain the excitement of being in love at all times. But I’m glad that Robert and I have chosen to stick it out with each other, to submit to this steep learning curve of marriage, and that we make each other laugh every day with our one-liners, goofy humor, and silly dances.

That said, in honor of St. Valentine’s Day, I’d like to highlight some of our most romantic moments of the past year.

    1. Robert teaching me to ride a bike. This was quite traumatic at first—I knew how to stay up on a bike but stopping and turning were pretty scary. Robert was a patient teacher, and those first few weeks when I was riding around the city behind him, over to get frozen yogurt or to an outdoor concert, there was a joy in him I’d never seen before. He was finally getting to share with me one of his great loves in life—bicycles—and for me, I was redeeming part of my childhood, finally able to feel that unique freedom of being on a bike. (P.S. When Robert and I were just dating, I told him, “I will never ride bikes with you, in case that’s a deal breaker.”—that’s how great my fear was! )

      Riding in Sonoma, just a month after R. started teaching me!
    2. Bungee jumping for Robert’s 25th birthday. It was supposed to be a surprise, but once we were halfway there, Robert somehow guessed, “Are we going to hike to the Bridge to Nowhere and bungee jump off of it?” Pretty much worst surprise ever, because he wasn’t even that excited (now I realize he was just trying to process the fact that he’d be jumping off a bridge in a few short hours, whereas I’d had months to mentally prepare for it). We hiked 5 miles to a completely random bridge in an otherwise deserted canyon, and we jumped off of it. Because of my weight class, I was one of the first to jump—even before Robert, which elevated me to badass status in his eyes. (Yes!) It was the first time bungee jumping for both of us, and sharing something new and crazy and exciting is definitely romantic! Even if your jump is less than graceful, as you’ll see from my legs over my head in the video below…Here’s my jump:

      And here’s Robert’s jump:

3. Celebrating our one year anniversary at the Korakia Pensione in Palm Springs. I already wrote about our trip here, but it really was such a romantic place. Candles and lanterns and fires everywhere, heated pools, and the sexy Mediterranean/Moroccan aesthetic. It’s a longtime dream of mine to travel to Greece, thanks in part to the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies, and this is the closest I’ve been. It felt like an escape, and the morning of our anniversary when we read new vows to each other was pretty special.

Entrance to the Korakia hotel

What were your most romantic moments this year?

Happy (late) Valentine’s Day! And even though it’s blog-cliché to say it, love the one you’re with.


2 thoughts on “Romance, For Real

Add yours

  1. Love those bungee jumping videos! This is a great blog post Joy… I really believe that that deeper love that comes with time can be even more special and exciting than the giddiness of dating.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: