“Those who grow, grow through either a crisis or a quest.”
“Hallowed Be Thy Name(s) Part 1”
Tom was talking about people who grow in their faith, grow in intimacy with God. Last night, after saying the above words, he went on to point out how crisis sometimes pushes a person to seek God harder, to cling to Him tighter. Sometimes it severs the last frayed rope tying them to the dock, letting them drift unmoored into the storm that’s raging.
But what I was thinking was that I’m glad these past couple years have been a series of quests, instead of crises. The last real crisis I had was probably my junior year of college, when some wrenching family issues left me reeling and questioning God–not His existence, but whether He was someone I wanted to have anything to do with. That long, dark tunnel took me about two years to get through but when I did, I entered a sunlit world of healing and assurance of God’s love for me that was better than I could have dreamed. It was then that I realized I would never again dream of turning my back on this path I’ve chosen, of pursuing not mere friendship, but oneness with Jesus.
Since then, I feel like I’ve been sent on a quest. First, to Australia, which took me to Mexico and also to some scary and ugly places in myself. Oh yeah, I grew. And now I’m off on another quest. It sounds so Lord of the Rings or whatever, but really it kind of is. Someone is sending me…I would not have randomly chosen to go to Norway to do unpaid work if it wasn’t Jesus who reached out his hand to me and invited me along. I know that He’s got plans for me there, and that while I do my best to flow with those plans, I’ll grow. This time I’m not as giddy about the launch. It’s a somber excitement I feel. Although it’s mainly a giant unknown hovering before me, I know a couple things: there will be beauty, and darkness, and laughter, and discomfort, and yes, growth. Because it’s not a vacation, it’s a quest.