“Wow, women of America, you’ve straightened your hair. […] Couldn’t be any straighter. What do you call that? Limp? It’s pointy, actually. Like a headdress of chopsticks. No, we don’t hate it. It’s a little severe maybe, but it works on some level. Why aren’t you moving your head? Right, that’ll mess it up. Can we touch it? No? okay. All the celebrities are wearing it like that? Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman. Well, there you go: You look like a celebrity. But sort of intractable and cold, like an ancient statue–of a goddess who is pissed off…Not like you at all, really. Not like when your hair was textured, thick, soft, imperfect, and you could move it around, and you looked, you know, human. It’ll wash out in the morning, right?”
“The Bewildered Man: Severely Straight Hair”
Esquire Magazine, July 2007
Hmm. Just another reason I’m glad I retired my straightening iron and wear my hair au naturel now. No offense to all you straight haired beauties out there.
P.S. Just trying to lighten up quotable Friday for once…plus, Esquire is full of amazing gems of wit like this.