The other day on my lunch break I drove past a Chinese restaurant, and in the parking lot in front it looked like a bag of dry rice had spilled all over the place. There were about five pigeons pecking around it, really chowing down. Then a thought crossed my mind: don’t birds’ stomachs explode if they eat dry rice? Something about the rice grains expanding in their tiny digestive systems or something. That’s why people don’t throw rice at weddings anymore. But who wants to be covered in birdseed on the dash out of the church. Not very romantic. Anyway, as I was thinking this, I also wondered for a split second if there wasn’t some kind of Good Samaritan law regarding animals. Like, should I have slammed on my brakes, hopped out of the car, and shooed them away from certain death? Surely if I saw a group of humans participating in an activity that would, unbeknownst to them, result in their gastrically explosive demise, I would say something, right? Maybe next time.