Eeper

“Not all who wander are lost.” –J.R.R. Tolkien

Treasure of Bread and Seeds August 20, 2009

Filed under: God, musings, writing — netanya @ 3:18 pm

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“People are prepared for everything except for the fact that beyond the darkness of their blindness there is a great light.  They are prepared to go on breaking their backs plowing the same old field until the cows come home without seeing, until they stub their toes on it, that there is a treasure buried in that field rich enough to buy Texas.  They are prepared for a God who strikes hard bargains but not for a God who gives as much for an hour’s work as for a day’s.  They are prepared for a mustard-seed kingdom of God no bigger than the eye of a newt but not for the great banyan it becomes with birds in its branches singing Mozart…”

Frederick Buechner

I’ve been thinking about the kingdom of God a lot in the past few months.  I was thinking about it yesterday while I was in the prayer room here on base, looking out the window at three tall pine trees, each with a bird perched on top.  I thought about the small ways I’ve let God in my life and how He’s taken those tiny openings and led me into something huge.  How it’s like Narnia’s wardrobe: it’s bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside.  

 The further I go on this journey with Jesus, the more astounded I am by His character and by His kingdom.  What is His kingdom, really?  That was such an abstract concept for me until this year, when I finally started to ask myself that question.  I began to open my Bible and speak to it like a magic mirror: Show me the kingdom of God!  It wasn’t hard to find once I started looking.  I knew it was important because Jesus said that THIS is the good news…that the Kingdom of God is near.  That is the Gospel.

I never stopped to think about that until my year in Norway, when someone pointed out that the Scriptures record Jesus preaching the Gospel.  But isn’t the Gospel that Jesus died for your sins and rose again? Apparently not.  The Gospel, the Good News, is that the Kingdom of God is near!  Then what is the Kingdom of God?  I went to the passages I remembered, like the ones in Luke – the Kingdom of God is like a treasure in a field, the Kingdom of God is like a pearl of great price, it’s like a mustard seed growing into a huge tree, it’s like yeast making bread rise.

 Er…what?  Okay, so it’s valuable?  So it’s powerful?  So it’s unassuming?  But what is it?  I’ll confess – I still don’t know.  But this is the closest I’ve come to understanding it, and it might sound a little too simple: the kingdom of God is the character of God animating our thoughts and actions and words.  I like that.  Because I know that God is compassionate, faithful, loving, powerful, and always good.  He’s all about justice and peace and freedom and healing.  He likes to take care of those who can’t care for themselves, like the orphans and widows and strangers wandering through foreign lands, pale and homesick.  He lifts up people who fall and gives food to the hungry.  He loves without asking for anything in return.  He forgives a thousand times a thousand times.  

Wow.  I want to be a part of that kingdom!  Jesus told a story about what the kingdom of God is like: one day, a man wanders into a field and finds a treasure beyond his wildest dreams.  He sells everything he has to buy that field. When you start to try to figure out the kingdom of God, and you unearth the truth little by little, it becomes as irresistible as the greatest treasure you could dream of.

But it’s still abstract.  How can I make this more concrete, how can I grasp it?  One way that has helped me is comparing the Kingdom of God with the way things work in this world.  It is so different.  And the more I compare, the more I realize that you can’t have one leg in each kingdom.  It’s not like standing on the equator line with one foot in each hemisphere, or that place in the U.S. where you can be in four states all at once.  No, it’s more like trying to be a monkey and an apple at the same time; or at the bottom of the ocean and the top of Mount Everest.  You just can’t stretch that far.  

But even if you decide to strike out for the Kingdom, the world doesn’t want to give you up.  It’s greedy; it likes to stack up its pawns just to say it owns them.  The world still owns me in many ways, and I’m not proud of that.  I was born here, and all my life I’ve believed I’m a citizen of this kingdom.  I’ve lived by its values and been shaped by its culture.  I want what it wants, I’m ashamed when it tells me to be, I’m proud when it says to be.  My life path has been mapped out for me by the world.  So now that I’m deviating, everything is on red alert.  I can’t go too far without something in the back of my mind saying, Are you crazy!?  You can’t do that!  I’m slowly learning to say, Says who?

The other day I felt discouraged about how far I still was from being totally “sold out” for the Kingdom of God.  I’m like the man who found treasure in the field, and yet even as I sell all my possessions to buy the field, I doubt the treasure’s existence.  And as I part with some of my most cherished items, I feel the pain of loss and think, if I really believed that treasure was there, would I feel such pain in parting with these dusty trinkets?

However, I found encouragement in Jesus’ cryptic words about the Kingdom being like a mustard seed.  I thought about how He planted a tiny seed in my heart last year, a small desire for His Kingdom.  And if it goes like He says it will, that seed will grow into something larger than I could have imagined, bearing fruit and giving shade and beauty.  He put a small amount of yeast in me, and He won’t stop until I’m fresh and fragrant bread, broken to nourish and comfort others.  I love this line from one of Brennan Manning’s prayers: “When all I can do is want to want you, take my crumb of faith and break it like bread to feed thousands, beginning, by your mercy, with me.”

What is the Kingdom of God?  Ask, and you will receive…

By the way, I started this piece back in Norway, and it’s been on my mind all summer.  Finally finished it enough to put it up.  Even though I wrote it in pieces, hopefully it’s not too disconnected!  Do you have any thoughts about what the Kingdom of God is like?  Share!  Discuss!

 

The Single Girl’s Guide To Excuses January 5, 2009

Filed under: Norway, boys, writing — netanya @ 4:08 pm

In Little Women, Jo describes her feelings when she moves away from home for the first time to work as a governess and aspiring writer in New York:

“I felt bold on leaving Concord, but I confess I find New York rough and strange, and myself strange in it.  Mrs. Kirk believes I am here for a brief interlude of sensational experience before succumbing to a matrimonial fate [...] but I hope that any experience I gain will be strictly literary.”

I can relate to Jo.  When I came to Norway, I felt brave but out of place and floundering in the new culture.  And like Jo, I think most people I know have certain…expectations on how my life should be unfolding, especially now that I’m 24.  These expectations, once latent, are now showing themselves as time passes and I remain single and without prospects (how Jane Austen-esque does that sound?).  Friends and family at home continually ask, “So, have you met a cute Norwegian boy yet?”  Even people here ask if I’ve found anyone interesting.  How many times can you just lamely say “no” without feeling like the leftover you joke about being?

Well, I’m an aspiring writer, too.  So I will take Jo’s words, and when people ask if I’ve met a Norwegian man yet who can throw me over his shoulder like a viking and carry me off into the sunset, I can arch my brow and say nobly: “I hope that any experience I gain here will be strictly literary.”

And when I make into Oprah’s Book Club, you’ll see I put all these years of solitary world travel to good use.

 

The Lucky One November 23, 2008

Filed under: current events, writing — netanya @ 2:03 pm

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My sister’s wedding was AMAZING.  She was beautiful, the wedding was beautiful, everything went well, they didn’t run out of food…what else do you want from a wedding, right?  And that moment, when all of us girls were in the back of the church waiting to walk down the aisle, holding our bouquets and looking over our shoulders at Sarah who was practically hyperventilating with happiness…that moment I was happier than I can remember being in a long time.  There’s just something about watching a dream come true for someone you love so much.  

Oh, and at the reception, my sister Rachel gave a toast in the form of an original rap.  It was amazing.  I’m not quite as much of a performer as Rachel, but I wrote a little poem for Sarah for my toast.  She’s always said she’s unlucky…we even joked about how we had the “Moyal Curse” on our lives, causing all those little things to go wrong.  But after seeing life breathed into her dreams these past two years as she’s fallen in love with Daniel, I think her luck has begun to change.  That’s what this poem is about: (more…)

 

Quotable Friday, Vol. 28 (Saturday Welcome Back Ed.) October 4, 2008

Filed under: blogging, quotable Friday, writing — netanya @ 2:42 pm

“When I write, I feel like an armless legless man with a crayon in his mouth.”  

Kurt Vonnegut

Maybe that’s why I just sat in front of my computer for an hour trying to write two different blog entries, and ending up with two long-winded, self-interested, boring pieces of crap.

Too bad I’m not like Kurt Vonnegut and actually an effing genius.

 

School House Rock, Vol. 2 June 18, 2008

Filed under: nerd alert, writing — netanya @ 3:30 pm

5 more words I love:

1. archipelago *

2. papaya

3. incandescent

4. ellipses

5. penguin

 

5 More Words I Hate

1. fib

2. cup

3. behoove

4. fiscal

5. oops and/or whoops

* Last night I read the word “archipelago” in a story in Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies.  When I picked up my phone to add it to my “words I love” list, I realized I had already added it.  Random, no?  I mean, how often does one come across that word?

 

Quotable Friday, Vol. 21 (Wednesday Edition) April 30, 2008

Filed under: quotable Friday, writing — netanya @ 4:43 pm

Alternately titled: Why I’m Not Cut Out to Be a Writer

“Here’s the bottom line: Someone who is more interested in themselves than they are the world at large probably won’t make it as a writer. You have to be insanely empathetic to be a writer. To be a writer you have to think everything is more interesting than you.

Would-be writers are forever wanting to share themselves with the world. Fair enough; that’s a big part of writing, for sure. But if, in being totally honest with yourself, you find that you are more interested in sharing yourself with the world than you are with, in essence, sharing the world with the world, then save yourself the trouble, and stop imagining you’re a writer. You’re not.”

–John Shore (from his blog Suddenly Christian)

I never heard of this guy or the books he’s written, but when I stumbled across his blog the other day I really ate up his series on “How to Make a Living Writing” because, what do you know, that’s what I want to do!  (more…)

 

Boxes December 22, 2007

Filed under: Missing, YWAM DTS, writing — netanya @ 5:01 am

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If you want to think really basically, Christmastime can be sized down to boxes. Big ones, small ones, wrapped and unwrapped, covered in bows or ribbons or jingle bells. Some contain things you’ve wanted all your life, or just since the fall catalog came out. Some boxes will go unopened and be recycled for next year’s gift exchange. Some may hold engagement rings, a promise of a new future nestled into a tiny box. If you want to be really creative, you can say Jesus was born in a box, and three wise men brought him boxes filled with gold and frankincense and myrrh.

Read more of my Christmas article on Radiant here.

I kind of rolled it out in a hurry, so forgive me if it just reads like an entry in my journal…cause that pretty much is how it reads.

 

Haiku Tuesday December 17, 2007

Filed under: YWAM DTS, random, work, writing — netanya @ 9:39 pm

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It all started with this poetic ode to sweet chilli sauce (inspired by the sweet chilli chicken quesadilla I had for lunch).

sweet chilli sauce love
brings magic to any day
so glad I found you

Then I started writing them for everyone sitting near me in the Youthstreet office today: (more…)

 

More Painful Self-Disclosure! December 10, 2007

Filed under: writing — netanya @ 8:52 pm

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Hey guys, Radiant put another of my articles up today. It’s called “MySpace in His Love.” Clever, huh? Hee… Hope you enjoy it…I read over it and felt a little embarrassed, but whatev. The above picture is the one they picked for my article. Mysterious, no? Miss you all…pictures of me feeding kangaroos coming soon!

 

Veterans’ Day November 8, 2007

Filed under: current events, writing — netanya @ 10:11 pm

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Hey, I should have a new article going up on Radiant Magazine (radiantmag.com) on November 11th (Veterans’ Day). I haven’t heard from the editor in a while so I don’t know if it’s still going up, but check it out if you’ve got the time. If you know me and my sister Rachel it will probably be pretty interesting to you! If you’ve never read my other articles, here are the links:

A New Contentment

A New Diet: Cutting Back on Control

Totally a coincidence that the titles both start with “A New…” The next two won’t, I promise.

Hope you guys like ‘em! I told you about the new one now because we’re going camping on Sunday or Monday and I’ll have no internet access for a week! Talk to ya when I get back, and I’ll try to post some photos.